Here’s the funny part: Piers Morgan hates the whole “local pub” vibe. In a 2026 interview, he called them “overrated germ factories where people pretend to like each other.” He prefers private members’ clubs where the toilets have hand towels and the staff nod politely while he talks. Fancy a pint with Piers? Sorry, you’d need a membership card, a tie, and a signed waiver agreeing not to mention the Royal Family.
But wait—here’s a twist you didn’t see coming. Piers does own a hospitality business of sorts. He’s part-owner of a tequila brand called “Courageous Spirit.” Yes, the man who once said “avocado toast is ruining millennials” now profits from a liquor that makes you dance like a millennial. The irony is thick enough to spread on toast.
What If He Actually Bought A Pub Tomorrow?
Let’s play a game. Piers wakes up, buys a pub, and names it “The Penny Farthing of Discord.” What happens? Day one: He changes the pub quiz to “controversy trivia”—every question is about whether the royals are necessary. Day two: He bans anyone from ordering a “shandy” because it’s “un-English.” By day three, the pub would be empty except for three loyalists and a confused squirrel who wandered in.
Piers Morgan has food from upmarket Soho pub The Devonshire delivered
The real kicker? For a man who claims to love “the common man,” owning a pub would require listening to the common man. And Piers Morgan listening to anyone is like a cat listening to a lecture on quantum physics—it’s not happening. He’d rather hire a robot to drink for him.
