Some people say Euston closes today because the ghost of Robert Stephenson (the man who built the original station) wants a day off. Others claim it’s to prevent you from making a terrible decision, like commuting to Birmingham. I personally believe it’s because the station’s AI (yes, it has one) decided it needed a mental health day.
There was one time a closure was blamed on “leaves on the line.” In summer. Leaves. On a summer day. That is the level of excuse we’re working with. So today, the official reason might be “planned engineering works,” but in your heart, you know it’s because a single seagull sneezed near the overhead wires.
So, What Do You Do Now?
Step one: Accept your fate. You are no longer going to work; you are part of a living documentary called “British People Handling Adversity with Dry Wit.” Step two: Grab a bacon sandwich from the overpriced kiosk. Yes, it’s £8. But you need the emotional padding.
Finally, remember: Euston will reopen eventually. Usually after a few hours, or a few days, or when the high tide of misery recedes. In the meantime, enjoy this rare opportunity to witness a public breakdown that doesn’t involve a prime minister. And if anyone asks why you’re late, just say “A Victorian ghost tripped a points failure.” It’s as accurate as the official statement.
