Then came the 1990s, and the team moved to FedExField in Landover, Maryland. This was like leaving your cozy, messy apartment for a brand-new house in the suburbs—exciting at first, but then you realize you have to mow the lawn.
FedExField is massive. It’s so big that by the time you walk from your car to your seat, you’ve aged a year. It’s like hiking to a concert in a national park, except the snack prices are a felony.
The traffic is legendary, and not in a good way. You know that feeling when you’re stuck in line for a roller coaster for three hours? That’s every game at FedExField. Locals will tell you stories about leaving their house at 9 AM for a 1 PM kickoff and still missing the first quarter.
Once inside, the atmosphere could be magical. The stadium rumbled when the team scored, and you’d high-five strangers who smelled like sunscreen and desperation. But there’s always that moment—around the fourth quarter—when you realize you’re miles from the bathroom. You start doing the “stadium squat” just to survive.
