So, where are commanders located? Everywhere. They’re in planes, trains, submarines, igloos (Iceland’s police commander works in a heated one), and even in your local coffee shop. I once saw a “Commander of Pastry Operations” on a name tag. I didn’t argue with her order.
The real takeaway? Commanders are just people with fancy titles and slightly bigger chairs. They’re located wherever someone needs to decide whether to launch a missile or just cancel the office meeting. And most of them have no idea what they’re doing—they’re just better at pretending.
Next time you see a commander, don’t salute. Just ask them where they’re really located. They might say “the Pentagon.” But probably, they’ll point at a bathroom. Everyone needs a throne.
