Don’t force a big party. Host a “No-Party Party.” Invite only yourself. Wear pajamas. Eat leftover cake on the floor. Watch the ball drop on mute. Predict what the host will say. Laugh when you’re right.
Do not make resolutions. That’s a trap. Instead, make a short list of things you’ll continue to avoid in the new year. Like folding laundry. Or pretending to like kale. It’s honest. It’s freeing.
Finally, write down one weird thing that happened during Twixmas. Maybe it was the paper crane fight. Maybe it was the squirrel judgment. Seal it in an envelope. Label it “Do Not Open Until Dec. 27, Next Year.” You just created a time capsule of glorious nonsense.
You survived the void. You played in the messy middle. And now? You have one perfect day left to do absolutely nothing. Use it wisely. The couch is calling. Answer it with a blanket burrito.
