Sometimes, you can’t win. You might live next to a family of heavy-footed elephants or a jazz drummer with a broken sense of time. In that case, invest in high-quality earplugs. Not the cheap foam ones from a drugstore. I’m talking about custom-molded, sleep-in-them, noise-canceling marvels. They cost $50 but save your marriage.
Alternatively, learn to love the noise. Imagine that thumping is a giant, clumsy ghost trying to dance to TikTok. Or that the screaming is a passionate debate over the merits of pineapple on pizza. Laughter is the second-best soundproofing material, right after concrete. The first-best is moving to a remote cabin in the woods, but that’s a lot of paperwork.
In the end, you have three choices: fight, flee, or find the humor. I recommend a mix of all three. And if all else fails, just buy that tinfoil hat. It’s really good for picking up alien radio stations, and honestly, that’s a lot more interesting than your neighbor’s bass solo anyway.
