Iraq has the Cradle of Civilization, sure, but also the cradle of IEDs. The country is still a hot mess of insurgency, unexploded bombs, and sectarian violence. The ancient ruins of Babylon are amazing—if you don’t mind the occasional mortar round.
The U.S. travel advisory says “do not travel due to terrorism, kidnapping, and armed conflict.” That’s the travel version of a red-alert foghorn. I’d rather watch a documentary about Iraq while sitting on my safe, boring couch. Safety first, Indiana Jones.
Top 10 Safest Places To Travel In The World - Infoupdate.org
Fun fact: In 2026, the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad had more rocket attack drills than my gym has spin classes. Pass.
Ukraine (Eastern Front, Specifically)
Ukraine is a whole country, but the eastern part near Russia is essentially a shooting gallery. The travel warning says: “do not travel due to active armed conflict.” That’s like saying “don’t swim in the shark-infested pool.”
The capital, Kyiv, is safer if you stick to the west, but the entire country is on high alert. Landmines are a thing. Yes, in the 21st century, you can accidentally step on a boom-boom left over from the war. Not the souvenir you want.
So, unless you’re a professional mine-sweeper with a twisted sense of humor, stay home. The borscht will still be there when peace breaks out.
