Don't fight the policy. Embrace it. Become one with the clear plastic. The moment you accept that your purse is a see-through joke, you will find inner peace. Pack your bag like you are going to a frat party that is also a funeral: minimal, practical, and slightly sad. Remember, the goal isn't to have a nice bag. The goal is to have a bag that does not get you yelled at by a volunteer named Brenda who has not had her coffee.
And if you break the rules? If you smuggle in a contraband Snickers bar inside your hollowed-out hairbrush? Just know that every queen before you has tried. And every queen failed. The bag policy is the ultimate equalizer. It doesn't care if you're Miss Congeniality or Miss Bad Attitude. It only cares that your makeup wipes are in a two-quart bag, or you are eliminated. So zip up, smile, and for the love of all things sequined, please don't bring the glitter.
