Walking into the lobby is like entering a clean, slightly fluorescent version of your nan’s living room. The carpet is thick enough to muffle awkward silences, and the receptionist will greet you with the practiced enthusiasm of someone who’s already seen six hen parties today. You’ll be handed a key card that always needs a second swipe to work—it’s a Premier Inn tradition, like a free cup of tea or an inexplicably lumpy pillow.
If you’re lucky, you’ll spot the "New Square" sign outside. It’s not actually new; it’s been "New" since 2008, which in hotel years means it’s basically a historic monument. But hey, it’s clean, it’s cheap, and the air conditioning hums a steady, hypnotic lullaby that’ll knock you out faster than a second glass of cheap wine at the bar.
The Room: Beige Perfection
Open the door to your room, and you’ll be greeted by a sight so predictably beige it could calm a rampaging bull. The bed is enormous—like, "land a small helicopter on it" enormous—and covered in a duvet that’s been wrestled into submission by a professional bed-maker. You’ll immediately perform the penguin test: jump on the bed, bounce once, and sigh with relief as it doesn’t sag like your ex’s promises.
Fun fact: Premier Inns actually guarantee a "Good Night’s Sleep" or your money back. This hotel’s pillows are a conspiracy. One is fluffy like a cloud, the other is flat as a pancake, and the third is a mystery lump of memory foam that smells faintly of vanilla and regret. You’ll spend 15 minutes rearranging them into a fort, and you’ll love every second.
PREMIER INN WEST BROMWICH TOWN CENTRE (NEW SQUARE) HOTEL (INGLATERRA
