Olympia is where the drive gets real. It’s like a video game boss. You see the capitol building, think “almost there,” and then—bam—traffic drops to a crawl.
Why? Nobody knows. It’s a secret pact made by raccoons and state legislators. You’ll sit, staring at brake lights, questioning your life choices.
Pro tip: If you see a “Left Lane Closed” sign ten miles out, just pull over and take a nap. You’re going to be there a while anyway. Might as well be comfortable.
Let’s Talk About the Scenery (Sort Of)
Between the traffic jams, you’ll get glimpses of pure beauty. Mount Rainier will appear like a giant, snowy marshmallow. The sky will be impossibly blue—unless it’s gray, which is, like, 300 days a year.
You’ll also see farms. Lots of farms. And one very specific billboard for a lawyer that you will memorize against your will. “Injured? Call 1-800-FLOWERS!” No, wait, that’s not right. But close.
Seattle to Portland drive: The complete road trip guide
The best part? The rest stops. They are the true heroes of this drive. One has a pet-relief area that smells like victory and sadness. Another has a vending machine that sells beef jerky shaped like a human thumb.
You will buy that jerky. You will regret it. And you will eat the whole thing anyway.
