Let’s start with the obvious. JJ Gabriel was born in 2007, which means he is somewhere around 16 or 17 years old—old enough to drive a go-kart, but not old enough to legally buy a lottery ticket in most countries. Yet he’s already making grown defenders look like they're running in treacle.
As for his height? Reports peg him at about 5’9” (175 cm). That’s not exactly a skyscraper, but in football terms, that’s the perfect height to slip between two lumbering giants and make them trip over their own egos. He’s like a pocket-sized lightning bolt with legs.
The real kicker? His age is one of those “internet mysteries” that keeps fans arguing. Some say he’s 16; others insist he’s 17. Honestly, I think he’s actually a 35-year-old elf who discovered the Fountain of Youth at Carrington training ground. You heard it here first.
