Did you know the Dartford Tunnel opened in 1963? That’s before the moon landing. It was the longest underwater tunnel in the UK at the time. Now it’s just the cranky one. They added a second tunnel in 1980, and the bridge in 1991. So it’s like a very old, three-legged stool—wobbly but functional.
And here’s a joke for the road: Why did the Dartford Tunnel close? Because the hole punched its card. (Sorry. I’ll show myself out.)
Final nuggets of wisdom
If you’re planning a trip, avoid 7-9 a.m. and 4-7 p.m. Those are the “I hate my commute” hours. Even if the tunnel is open, you’ll feel closed in—by brake lights. Also, pack snacks. A packet of crisps can save a relationship when you’re stuck for 45 minutes.
And remember: the Dartford Tunnel is like a moody teenager. It seems rebellious, but it mostly just wants to be left alone. As long as you check the official sources, you’ll be fine. Probably. Now go forth, brave traveller, and conquer that concrete ribbon. Or at least survive it.
P.S. If today is a Bank Holiday? Forget everything I said. It’s a coin flip. May the traffic gods be ever in your favour.
