Because it’s the perfect party trick. Ask someone: “Is sleeping an action?” Watch them squirm.
They’ll say, “Well, you have to do it!” But you don’t do it. It happens to you. Like a hiccup. Or a falling piano.
It’s the one thing every human needs that they cannot actually accomplish through effort. It’s the great equalizer. Rich, poor, wise, dumb—all of us eventually become horizontal blobs who drool on pillows.
The Final Shaggy Dog Story
I once heard a comedian say: “Sleep is just eight hours of practice for being dead.” Dark. But it makes the point.
Dead people don’t do actions. Neither do sleeping people—until you wake them up. Then they start doing actions, like groaning and looking for coffee.
So here’s my verdict: Sleeping is not an action. It’s an event. A biological performance you watch from the nosebleed seats. You are the audience, not the star.
But go ahead. Call it an action. Tell your boss you’re “going to perform a sleep.” See how that goes.
The best part? This argument doesn’t matter one bit. You’ll still crawl into bed tonight, close your eyes, and let the strange, wonderful, non-action take over. Sweet dreams. Or don’t. That’s not an action either.
