Every jungle needs a pantomime baddie. This year it’s Rupert Murdoch’s nephew—again, kidding. It’s actually Gemma Collins’ ex-manager. He once yelled at a waiter for bringing the wrong sparkling water. He’s going to implode in that humidity.
I’m already planning my “Get Him Out!” chant. But secretly, I want him to stay forever. The drama is too delicious.
The One Who’s Just Here for the Free Food
My absolute favorite is Nigella Lawson’s body double. Again, no—it’s Nigella Herself. Wait, is it? No, that’s a rumor. It’s actually Ainsley Harriott’s long-lost nephew.
Whoever he is, he’s already asking for seconds of rice and beans. He’s got the right idea. The jungle is just a paid vacation with weird snacks.
