Once you get it home, do the smell test again. If the bottom smells more like pineapple than the day you bought it, that’s maximum ripeness. Cut it now.
Pro move: Slice off the top. Plant the crown in some dirt. You get a houseplant that looks like a party. It might take two years to fruit again, but you’ll have a conversation starter.
Picking a good pineapple is a small victory. It’s a skill that impresses nobody at parties until they taste the fruit. Then they’ll call you a genius. Enjoy the glory.
So go ahead. Walk to the produce section with confidence. Sniff the bottoms. Tug the leaves. Be the weirdo who thumps fruit. You’re not being picky. You’re being passionate. And that’s exactly how you find the sweetest treasure in the grocery store.
