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The last trick is mashing a few beans. Take about a quarter cup of cooked beans, mash them with a fork, and stir them back into the pot. Why? The released starches thicken the liquid, which carries heat more efficiently. It’s like giving your beans a little running start.

You can also add a pat of butter or a drizzle of olive oil at the end. Fat helps conduct heat and makes the beans feel creamy. Not faster, exactly, but it makes the waiting worth it.

And hey, if all else fails, just order takeout and call the beans a “meal prep project.” No judgment here. We’re all just trying to eat well without spending our whole lives in the kitchen.

Now go, brave bean warrior. Make those pulses submit to your will. And if anyone asks how you made beans so fast, just say you have a secret. You do. It’s called “not being afraid to use science and a pinch of baking soda.”