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Getting the test is only half the battle. The real fun begins when you get the results. If numbers are high, you install a filter. A good whole-house filter system costs as much as the test—$200 to $1,000.

But hey, now you know. Knowledge is power. And in this case, knowledge tastes like clean, cold, non-radio-arsenic-bacteria water. That’s priceless.

So go ahead. Spend that $120. Become a water expert at parties. Tell everyone your well has “acceptable levels of uranium” with a straight face. You’ll be a legend.