Did you know the largest stuffed turkey ever weighed 86 pounds? That’s an oven the size of a Smart car. Also, Daniel Boone once complained about an undercooked turkey in 1769. (True story: he wrote about “raw bird” in his diary.) And here’s a wild one: the official state bird of Texas is the mockingbird, but Texans eat 57 million turkeys each Thanksgiving. Talk about mixed messages.
If you’re feeling rebellious, try spatchcocking—butterflying the bird flat. It cooks in 2 hours flat, even stuffed. But purists will yell “blasphemy!” Ignore them. They still use jellied cranberry sauce from a can. You’re a turkey rebel now.
