So, to answer your original question: a stuffed turkey takes roughly 3.5 to 5 hours for most average birds. But it really takes as long as it takes. You are not in control. The turkey is. Accept that now, and you’ll have a happier holiday.
And look, if you mess up? Order pizza. Drink wine. No one will remember the turkey’s timeline. They will remember the laugh you had over the burnt rolls. But if you nail the time? You’ll feel like a goddess of the kitchen. Or a god. Or a very smug turkey whisperer.
Now go forth. Stuff. Roast. Temperature check. And for the love of all that is gravy, let it rest. Your future self—and your stuffed belly—will thank you.
