First things first: do not try to cook a frozen brick. That’s a one-way ticket to a raw center and a stressed-out you. Give it time. A 23-pounder in the fridge needs a solid 5 to 6 days to thaw. Yes, days.
Think of it as a very slow, very cold spa retreat. You’ll need to clear out a whole shelf and maybe apologize to your leftovers. This is the part where you realize you should have started planning last Tuesday.
The Math of Mass
Okay, so the classic rule is 13 minutes per pound at 325°F. Grab your calculator, or just your phone like a normal person. 23 x 13 = 299 minutes. That’s a little over 5 hours of oven time.
But wait! That’s for an unstuffed bird. If you’re shoving a pillow of stuffing in there, add another 30 to 45 minutes. Suddenly, your Thanksgiving timeline looks like a complicated train schedule. You’ll be setting alarms at 4:00 AM.
