Pulling into Four Oaks feels like entering a tiny, orderly nation with its own strict constitution. The warden will greet you with a clipboard and a smile that says, “I know where you parked last night.” You’ll be assigned a pitch so perfectly manicured you’ll hesitate to put down your awning, let alone your feet. Pro tip: If you hear “Peppa Pig” playing from the next caravan, you have approximately 45 seconds before a tiny human runs into your guide rope. Embrace the chaos.
The Floorshow: Henley’s Famous Mower
Here’s a surprising fact: the grass here is cut with such military precision that local squirrels use the stripes as a map. The grounds team doesn’t just mow; they perform. I swear I saw one staff member use a spirit level on a daisy. You half-expect a tiny brass band to follow the tractor, playing the theme from “The Great Escape.” Don’t worry, the grass is very nice—you’ll be paying for it in your pitch fee.
