You pull into the "Drop Off Zone." This isn’t a drop-off; it’s a high-stakes parking lottery. The signs flash "Stay less than 20 minutes, or pay £just-kill-me-now."
You have exactly the time it takes for a toddler to decide they don’t like their shoelaces. Meanwhile, your passenger is wrestling a suitcase that weighs more than a small horse.
Pro tip: Do not get out of the car to hug them goodbye. The traffic warden has a radar for emotional moments. He will materialize and bill you for the hug.
The "Short Stay" Illusion
If you’re smart, you’ll use the Short Stay Car Park. But "Short Stay" is a cruel joke. It’s like calling a marathon "a quick jaunt."
The car park is a concrete labyrinth designed by someone who hated maps. There’s a surprising fact: the spiral ramps are so tight, you’ll develop abs just turning the steering wheel.
And the lifts? They smell of regret and last year’s tuna sandwich. You will press the button, wait, and wonder if you’ve been transported to a Black Mirror episode.
