The writers had a sadistic streak in wrapping up storylines. Pennsatucky died? Of a drug overdose in a car? That was the show’s way of saying, “One smiley joke later, life ends.” And don’t get me started on Poussey’s legacy. The finale showed her mom and Taystee opening a library in her name. It was beautiful, but also made me want to throw my remote at the wall because Poussey deserved to be alive for that.
Then there’s Daya, who went from sweet girl to drug lord faster than you can say “mailroom corruption.” Her ending was so dark, it needed its own night-vision goggles. And Aleida? That woman did an eight-season-long shuffle between being a terrible mom and a marginally better criminal. It was exhausting, and I loved every second.
The Real Hero: Gloria’s Vicks VapoRub
Let’s be honest: the true star of the finale was the human spirit—and also Gloria’s ability to run a prison kitchen like a mob boss. If you’re surprised that Vicks VapoRub was used in jail as currency, you haven’t been paying attention. That stuff is the Bitcoin of the prison economy. One tub got you a clean shank and a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
Orange Zeichnung Chinese Mandarine Orange Clipart, Mandarines, Chinese
Also, did you catch that the show ended with a scene of Piper and Alex finally being boring? They drank tea. Tea. That’s the message: love after prison is just sitting in silence, hoping your parole officer doesn’t call. It’s the least dramatic ending possible, and that’s why it worked.
