Let’s rewind to 2006. Abbey was 20, she was broke, and she entered the show mostly because her mates dared her to. She didn’t have the “ice queen” look that judges usually love. She was too curvy, too friendly, and her accent made the panel wince. But she won anyway. Why? Because she was the only one who looked like she was having fun.
Watching her strut down the runway was like watching your weird cousin do the worm at a wedding. It was chaotic, it was real, and it was working. The show tried to teach her “model face.” She mostly just looked confused. And the public ate it up. She became the anti-model—the one who proved you don’t need to be a brooding statue to succeed.
The Peter Crouch Effect (AKA: The Glow-Up You Didn’t See Coming)
Then she married Peter Crouch. You know, the 6ft 7in footballer who looks like a giraffe who swallowed a stick. On paper, this was the oddest couple since a zebra and a flamingo decided to date. But somehow, they are the most functional marriage in showbiz. Abbey once said their secret is that they “fart in front of each other.” I can’t verify that, but I respect the honesty.
Supermodel Abbey Clancy on Britain’s Next Top Model | Express.co.uk
Here’s where it gets ironic. Abbey Clancy—the woman who was hired to look perfect—builds her entire post-model brand on not looking perfect. She posts selfies without makeup. She talks about the “c-section pooch” she can’t lose. She does interviews where she admits she’s terrible at styling her own hair. It’s refreshing, right? It’s like she’s constantly side-eyeing the fashion industry and whispering, “I know this is all a bit silly, lads.”
