You want a classic British pub experience? Great. Avoid the “Ye Olde” puns in tourist traps near Leicester Square. These pubs serve lukewarm beer and charge £12 for a plate of chips that tastes like cardboard. The real London pub is hidden down a side street, smells faintly of dog and darts, and the landlord will call you “mate” while simultaneously stealing your seat.
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Another surprising fact: locals never, ever go to any pub named after a famous person from 1730. Those places are ghosts of tourism. If you see a pub with a neon sign that says “Craft Beer,” run. Run to the nearest Wetherspoons for a £3.50 pint and industrial carpet.
