So, what should you do? First, check the store’s website before you drive anywhere. Wasting gas on Easter is a sin that even the forgiving Easter Bunny won’t condone. Second, buy your milk on Saturday. This is the adult version of a public service announcement.
If all else fails, remember this: You can survive 24 hours without a snack. Your ancestors survived famines; you can survive a day without Doritos. And if you truly need something, you can always knock on your neighbor’s door and ask for a cup of sugar. They’ll look at you like you’re a heathen, but you’ll have sugar.
Ultimately, Easter Sunday is a test of patience and planning. Retail is either open a little, closed a lot, or run by a guy named Steve who owns a bodega. Embrace the uncertainty. Buy the discount egg that’s shaped like a football. And if you’re desperate, just eat the chocolate. That’s always available—you hid it from yourself last week, remember?
