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Let’s be honest: lawn mowing is the least glamorous chore in the history of homeownership. It’s hot, it’s loud, and you’re basically just giving your yard a very expensive haircut every other weekend.

But the question that haunts every suburban warrior is when—and I mean the exact, Goldilocks-perfect moment—to cut. Get it wrong, and you either annoy your neighbors with a jungle or kill your grass with kindness.